You’ve heard it before. Drink plenty of water to flush the toxins. Balance your energy. Cleanse your ancestral DNA of past-life grievances.
Look, I have been told on numerous occasions that I have given the best massage of a person’s life. Of. Their. Life.
That makes me feel as awesome as they do.
Did they have a spiritual experience? Sometimes.
Do I believe in the mystical, the magical, the fantastical? I am the first person to laugh at it all, and then the first person to rush to the table of my friend who does energetic healing along with her deep cranial-sacral work when my scalenes decide to do battle with my suboccipitals, and wake up the demented goblin that lives behind my left eyeball. Do I feel better after she’s done digging into my neck and pontificating? Absolutely.
I have learned over the years not to question the process of genius, for anyone who can help exorcise my neck demons is a hero in my book and can do whatever the hell they need to do to work them out.
I will never really understand the time someone massaged my feet and proceeded to tell me accurate details about my relationship with my family, which they determined from a particular toe. I still don’t know how that was possible, and I would never do that to anyone else because it is none of my business, but it did happen.
Some people do take a more spiritual approach to massage, and that’s completely fine. I have no problem with that. There’s a science behind it all, and I believe that science is called The Placebo Effect. I won’t take it away from you. I know I am going to give a fantastic massage whether or not I include a chakra balancing or call upon the spirits, because I know my human anatomy like a champ and I’ve got the touch.
Drink water, because water is good for you and dehydration is bad. Remember, stress is the most dangerous toxin of all. And don’t forget to breathe or you will die, but that probably won’t happen because that is a function of your autonomic nervous system.
Namaste, folks. Namaste.